(saturday night this was true)
i just got in from hanging out with ms. denise. she just got a new job and she and i haven't hung out in a bit, so she came over to the island (alameda) to hang. i'm clearly in a bell hooks/ e.e. cummings mood. i don't feel like pressing the shift key right now and i reserve the right to that.
it's been a rainy evening and i was wracking my brain on where to go. we ruled out mexican food and i threw out ideas since we decided against Capote (she's already seen it today) and i suggested the new zealander restaurant i've heard melissa rave about. a shepard's pie sounded perfect for a rainy evening.
we arrive at the restaurant - at the southeast corner of webster and central. it was formerly croll's and is a beautiful wooden, storefront with gorgeous windows and plenty of stained glass. the interior has beautiful molding and some gorgeous maori masks and a boat. the menu features some yumminess and i am thankful for the proliferation of lamb in this country.
let's see...summary?
- last day of retreat (members of our board and prospective board came and it was interesting to see the two cultures coming together...the whole haves/havenot thing in one room talking about power dynamics and oppression and just cracking the surface about these issues that can seem uncomfortable.)
- good mary ann discussion (i told her i did the second part of my homework and she seemed pleased and surprised. i guess she thought i would continue putting it off. i did have a weepy session about the whole self-love thing. doing my homework had much less to do with revealing this crush than it did with me facing my fear...letting go of the rope above the lagoon
- star wars disco theme on kfog brought me much joy and i left an email voicemail for mitzi and omer laughing about it
- i stopped by bittersweet to get a spicy hot chocolate for our board meeting. it was weak spicy and i am noticing lately i need to ask for extra spicy to get that lovely kick that i loved so much the first time i encountered the spicy hot chocolate. give me the spice! i asked for it! fire up my belly!
- phone fight w/mom about the mess i am
kay. the story behind this? the jeans i have are all gifts from people, hand-me-downs. and i have burned through them. i wear them til they are threadbare. and i was wearing a pair of jeans at the retreat that were at the cusp of not being useful anymore. because of this i wear a skirt over them and it's kinda brazilian, i suppose. during the meeting i felt rips just getting bigger. like the hulk of my thighs just ripped them open at the seams and the crotch wasn't there anymore. thank god for the skirt thing... so i got on the phone to return my mom's message and was laughing about that and she chided me, saying having ripped pants in front of my coworkers and board members was nothing to laugh at. it wasn't funny...and what would they think...and that just got me on the defensive...i KNOW it's not funny...it wasn't intentional and i wasn't offering a beaver shot to anyone (thus the skirt). and we just got to an empass and i had to end the conversation...magically my phone rebooted itself. i guess i channeled some carrie telekinesis or something.
- brief convo with wifey michelle about mother / daughters
i moved on to talking to michelle who's congestion sound better and she gave me perspective, yay.
- arrive home and call back kwesi. entertaining 2 hour convo about the black experience, what's in a name, my myspace blogging, planning out our next 3 dates, the east coast/west coast thing, black intellectuals, identity discussion (gender/ethnicity/race). good stuff. we're doing luka's on thursday...
- called o to have him check on kwesi
heh. so i wanted to leave a message for o to have male crew impression of kwesi, because family is important, you know? i expected him to be in festival mode and he actually answered the phone. more interesting musings in phoenix. it'll be interesting when sneufleueu takes over the town. i think he made observations that are true and have been true of my existance...that the bay area is unique in the united states where a bunch of 20/30/40 somethings can hang from many aspects of life...we're white, yellow, brown, black...we're natives and imports...we're professionals in social profit organizations and corporations...we cook...we love sports, arts, we are outdoorsy and pop culture oriented...benneton.
i have loved my circle of friends elsewhere as well...but i have never been so enriched by a circle of friends as i have been here...
so it was fun to hear about scottsdale dinner party and interesting family friends. i'm sure o will do it justice in his account and then denise came and i passed the phone along to change really quickly...
- called m to tell him i have a date
I left a message for mike just to let him know...tee hee, because he's like my sagg partner in crime and i feel the need to let him know these things. we go through parallel thought processes, and so sometimes we brainstorm on stuff =)
- procrastinating on packing
nuff said. am going SLOWLY
- cop in meda comes up to denise and i talking in the car checking what's the matter after careening around the corner
so after dinner denise and i are chatting in the car because my landlord's daughter is sleeping in the dining room...and she has less privacy than i have...no wall, just a screen. a french door sounds like the great wall in comparison and i didn't want to keep her awake with our chattiness.
a police car comes careening along chapin onto pacific in a WIDE turn. denise and i both note this and keep on our discussion about various movies, actors, npr reports (she's a pop culture maven) and then we notice that there's a light shining into her sideview mirrors.
i have noticed some young dudes hanging around occasionally...but nothing major. this is alameda, after all.
well dude comes walking up after putting on his lights and denise rolls down the window. "is there a problem officer?"
i think he was taken aback that there were two women in the car. he was checking in to see if we were okay...and we were like yea, we're just talking.
i got the gut feeling that being female was a good thing in this context. we were two black women in a car. i think if we were two black boys, we would have had a different story. and that feels so strange to feel that way. racial profiling? personal? yuck!
- discussion of movies, jobs, girl stuff, coming to realizations about boys...etc...
(see previous)
and now it's sunday morning...i have been on the phone with meryl, enjoying the sun streaming into my room and listening (halfway) to npr. i have 3 more boxes packed than i had yesterday but am still progressing slowly and i need to call solomon to figure out our schedule for the day...we're going to see machomer. this is my birthday present. i trumped seeing a symphonic thing, because we can always go to the symphony (michael tilson thomas is hot in that lovely, silver-haired, wire-rimmed glasses, dark eyes, intellectual way that i adore.), but we perhaps may never see macbeth performed as a one-man show impersonating all simpsons characters. this is a lovely thing. quirkiness.
and i should move stuff. yeap, i should...this is me, sitting in a plastic cap as i condition my hair with olive oil thinking about this...and perhaps i should post and get back to packing...yeap...i should...
ramble...
OH and i will be interviewing for the full circle fund technology fellowship tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!
may i break a leg and make a kick-ass impression. pa'lante!
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