Big, Fat Rain Drops

The India Palace in Alameda provides me much comfort.

I walked there in the rain after landing in my room and settling in. There were big, fat rain drops and as I walked to the restaurant with my backpack in tow I had an imaginary conversation with my friend Mike whom I've felt alienated from since he started dating his girlfriend Melanie. He and I have always had good conversations and I have missed just shooting the proverbial shit with him.

In my mind's auditorium I spoke with him of bell hook's All About Love and told him that what I missed of our friendship was our conversation. That when we were sort of, but never really expressed it consciously, "dating" that I felt that I needed to always put up a front of best foot forward and not allow myself to be human and that's what made us incompatible. We had a good dialog as I walked in the rain, fat drops running down from the crown of my head onto my face.

I arrived, wet with one of mami's new jackets on me and wanting Palak Paneer. I ordered it, Mulligatawny Soup, Naan, and biryani. I was craving Indian food especially after my parents expressed a disliking for it over the weekend. Not like Indian food?

How is that possible?

During dinner I continued to read bell and write in my journal, reflecting on it. (Imagine, I blog in two places and then write in my journal. I think a lot!). I receive a phone call from a 503 and I know it's Mike, but I answer politcly, "Good evening, you've reached Erika" and he says hello. I say I am eating dinner, but am able to return his call in 40 minutes and we agree to speak then.

Excellent. Honesty. It works. I do not drop things for people, I express my needs and take them into account when weighing choices. I do not act from desperation. I make considerations of the situation.

This seems so zen and healthy.

Imaginate eso, eh?

What other pearls of wisdom will this book help me uncover?

I like this feeling of an open heart. I am making a list of honesty conversations I will have...it started with my parents over the weekend and will continue through my friends and family. (Although now I know brastfeeding is not a conversation my parents want to have in a restaurant. Apparently it's a little too taboo for the daderator. I have to realize not everyone is as candid as I am and willing to just talk about any and everything.)

Interesant.