midnight oil

um...so i haven't really been home to blog majorly in the last few days. i'm listening to santero's "el tigre" right now. dude is pretty deep in his music. i also happen to know him from his community work and involvement with the digital inclusion movement. right now i am fanning a fire fueled with a need for justice. i feel the spirit of kali boiling up inside of me. i have a scythe at the ready psychically that i am willing to drop, causing the destruction of some for the benefit of others. i am feeling like judge and jury and i am thirsty for justice. but i will not act without temperance. i will wear no skull necklace. i will wait and strategize. and operate from a place of temperance. let's talk enron. or not. i am in the office exporting a dvd for my students right now. tech crap is going on, but they've come up with a pretty amazing piece about street violence in san francisco among young women. tomorrow they are presenting for the empowering women of color conference at uc berkeley. they've also come up with a jeopardy game to test people's knowledge on the juvenile justice system and mini-skits bringing the violence to the audience. i'm impressed. sure, kimmy and i were the firm directors today, making sure they were focused. there's a palpable excitement working with my future colleagues. and we learn from one another. we teach one another, unafraid to offer constructive criticism, all for the improvement of the the whole. the game i constructed as a frameset so they could click through questions, to the answers and could jump from one topic to the other with ease, projected so the entire audience could participate. it's not too fancy, but it's fun to have it over the paper wall kind of thing. and reusable. =) the dvd is not cooperating with the exportation. and i already sorta distracted myself with violin playing. it's midnight and i need to get to oakland to care for the kitties. it's midnight and the evening buses kinda suck. i will probably be home by 3 am. and that's going to suck. big time. i'll wake at 8 am, take a bus up to my oakland house so i can get my car and shower and get everything i need for the morning and early afternoon. i'm supposed to go to a pirate party in the south bay tomorrow night. man, i don't know if i'll have the energy. i still am dragging from my period flow. yes, i said it. get over it. i'm feeling very kali. > tuesday was visioning day. > wednesday was crazy cat morning. and more rehearsal for the conference. and pretty cool meeting with our FCF sub-committee. and seeing CSA. I referred to it earlier. wicked. intelligent. subtle. well done. thoughtful. funny (in that ironic sense). > thursday, early morning meeting... in the office some tension. my girls for the poetry thing are bowing out. fooey. staff meeting. tension. girls come in and it's good. the outreach team is working hard. stereolab show with michael paul and then we bus/bart to rockridge and do late night koryo sushi because we're hungry and want something decent. god BLESS late night sushi spots! > friday, gotta pay back the cash advance. i did not get another one, btw. i'm trying to quit for lent and FOREVER. going into the office to help with the conference stuff. and to meet the sf vday producer, evone. we have tickets in exchange for flyering. sweet. collaboration is KEY. evone is cubano. i laughed with him about caribeno things. always cool to have people who understand you. seems like good people and can't wait to collaborate more with him and the sf vday org in the future! lots of tech glitches to fix for saturday. little things, but annoying that fixing one thing sometimes throws off another thing. you know how that goes. i haven't showered today. i know that's not considered cool, but i had to make the decision to either hop a bus home and then back to the city and not get here til 4 or suffer being unshowered and get my stuff done. that was about 9 hours ago. i guess i made the right decision. i did do the teeth thing and changed my clothes, sorta. i am wishing i had my car here, though. poor kitties must be wondering where the hell i am. i did remember to fill their bowls with yummy-yums. hoy-vey. okay, here's my hope, prayer, intention... okay, so it's march. the year is almost 25% over. i'm excited about working on this new violin thing. i'm excited about finding the right home for me. i'm excited about exploring part-time school options, a healthier body and mindset, and creating more. admittedly, i am fearful of the effects of things out of my control. i am fearful of STUPID decisions made by other people that impact me...like...the "war on terror" and decisions by companies to use materials that are destructive because they are more affordable for the consumer...-isms in general... AH, but there is something larger than fear. i look at my brown body, less red in color than my violin. the yoga this morning was not beautiful. but it was done. the sky this morning was gorgeous. the post rain blueness. lovely. there is faith. there is hope. there is love. there is community. tea cups have medicine and wisdom. tea cups have warmth and reason. tea cups have an infusion of plants, the earth's wisdom. much more ancient than ipods. much more ancient than taxes. much more ancient than bills. tea cups. the ones i collect. tea cups. the ones i pour steaming hot water in. the ones i dangle tea bags into. they are my sanity today. vessels of conversations held between people. vessels of hospitality, healing, warmth. vessels of sanctuary for oneself. tea cups. this is the promise and hope of today and everyday. earthenware. glazed. in sets. alone. tea cups.