yeah, some people might say i have a chip on my shoulder about the race/inequity thing.
it's not just a chip. i wear the full-on uniform.
most of the time i make my observations over tea with friends or blog it to the whole world.
i used to have an email blast called the "army of e" where i would spout my vitriol and heart to induce catharsis. whoever read it, read it. whoever deleted it, deleted it.
but at least i got my ideas out there. off my chest and into the ether.
that's healthier for me than keeping it inside.
i digress.
yesterday i got dressed up, all adult-like because i was leaving the womb of the sf bay area and participating in a conference in fairfield, ca.
great conference, actually. a mini-discussion between grantees and a funder. we got to ask questions about WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE and I realized, "wow! i want to find an organization that has sound management structure. i want to be a funder, recognize social benefit organizations for their expertise in keeping ship-shape, delivering services to their participants, and feel good about how the money is being used."
and i got to mingle with fellow attendees at the conference.
there were 24 of us.
21 of us were white.
4 of us were below 40.
16 of us were male.
i chimed in during the conversation to express my experience in the classroom with best practices for my students and so forth...just speaking first person. i felt engagement with my fellow attendees. it was good.
later on during snacks and greeting time one of the gentlemen took me aside. he had a kind face. could be an older brother to my dad in age and seemed to be super-knowledgable about the digital divide thing. and he looked down at me (he was taller) and had that palpable pause before he uttered the words with pleasant surprise, "you were so articulate in there!"
my face held its meet and greet professionalism. i have a firm handshake. (and i hug, to boot!) and i smiled.
pause. pause.
it was just a moment, but i could hear him mentally calculating,
"oh jeez, i didn't mean to say that. i know she's brown, but i meant to say that i really appreciated her thoughts, even though i think it's an anomaly that this woman standing in front of me with the twisted hair and brown skin, broad lips and wide nose would actually use the English language to convey an idea that had nothing to do with drama, corn bread, or hip hop. And I don't even think she gesticulated once while she conveyed her ideas. But she doesn't look like Tiger. I don't quite get her. Yet I find her refreshing and appealing, because she could be just like me, I mean, save for the genetic difference which magically causes me to assume that she's only capable of some stereotype I've ingested from the media and perhaps my peer group."
"what i meant to say is that i really understood what you were saying in there!"
I thanked him, shook his hand firmly, that of his colleague's and moved on in the room.
Now, I know I am a surpising personality. I giggle and squeal with enthusiasm. I break out in dance and song and characters randomly. Heck, I invade personal space with hugs unannounced, as well as have opinions on global, community, and personal matters. But let me say it again. And I am sure I'll say it again and again:
Brown people, particularly those of the African diaspora, are people. And that being said, I'll make the generality that we can possess intelligence, innovation, decorum, appropriate boundaries, and positive leadership.
Shocking, I know.
I have never been involved in a gang, a baby daddy, worn an acrylic nail, ingested ANY illicit drug (nor had the curiousity to), have a gold name plate necklace, or sported any sort of expensive/fashionable footwear associated with basketball.
I like music from a diverse diaspora, least of which is corporate hip hop or rap. I find the misogeny disconcerting and the booty lifestyle materialistic to the point of nausea. Give me some conscious lyrics and a good beat and we're more than friends.
I know we need a constant reminder of this, because it's hard to combat all of the prevalent media. Sure, there is the occasional doctor or lawyer thrown in, but most media outlets laud the n---a image that is ridiculous buffonery. And if you think about it, most people of the African diaspora, be they latin, american, or directly connected with the African continent, are NOT images reflective of the phenomenon of the American urban ghetto.
The Nina, Pinta, and Santa Maria would never have thought to bring shiftless negroes to build an empire after sneezing the Tainos to genocide.
This is my public service announcement for the day.
Thanks so much!
~Erika,
Premium blend! (como tu cafe!) afro-euro-american
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