I was looking for carpoolers along Macarthur Blvd. In Alameda people troll the busstops and shout, "San Francisco?" from their drivers' sides. Takers respond, "Thank you" and hop in or just wave the driver on.
Um, in Oakland they look at you like you're crazy.
Here's the benefit of picking up casual carpoolers: they waive the $3.00 toll when you cross the bridge during rush hour traffic. Hell, yeah. That saves you MONEY and TIME, yo!
Last week it also bought me a neighbor who had the sagest advice. Filipino brother, young. He looked like an old schoolmate of mine from Syracuse, Adrian Sicam.
When he got in the car, I noticed his Bob Dylan book. And that started our dialog about life, the universe, and everything.
Now, I have been in a funk. Just feeling like sh--burgers for no particular reason. Just expecting doom and gloom. Part of me thinks it's chemical and another part of me thinks it's practice. You practice anything for 10+ years and you're bound to get good at it. I've been depressed for 12 years now and am working on reprogramming all of that. It started out with a friend's rape and has just evolved into this demon that inventories and catalogs what's wrong in a way that any retail store would envy. When it comes to feeling bad, my brain has a bar code and inventory list that shames Wal*Mart's selection and warehousing.
But I meet this dude and he's cool. We start talking about the life of Robert Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan), and move on to web design (he's a self-taught graphic designer that didn't graduate from SF State), he just bought a house close to where I am and he just saw life as a game...no walls...and I was fascinated.
All of the things my brain usually conjures for why I cannot held NO water next to this man. He wasn't scolding me, he was simply offering me how he saw things and real examples of how he just sailed through. He shared about a broken relationship (HEY! I've had a few of those!), how he was dealing with money crap (HEY! I know that feeling!), how he dropped out of school (That's ME!)...his life paralleled mine, but his PERSPECTIVE on it was awesome. For him, these were lessons and he learned from them and moved forward.
I looked at how I react. My victim self is TOO strong from so much exercise.
And I thought of what he said, "there are no walls".
Whoah.
I just got this email from him...and I need to share, because Rey's words border on sacred text....
Don't get freaked out but I couldn't help but think about our conversation
during my BART train home (my bro picked me up). It inspired the tirade
below which I started typing in the station. It may or may not show up in a
personal blog somewhere:
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Consider that life is a game and not just advertising. (Yeah, juices on
meaning-of-life-stuff were popping.) It's the biggest game you could ever
play. So what are the rules and what do you get when you win?
First my thoughts on the rules -- there are no rules. No rights, no wrongs,
just consequences. But I'll go ahead and create one noble rule: don't hurt
anyone. Because in our discussion, if those around you create who you are
then you're dirt if you treat them like dirt. Karma.
As for the ultimate price? (drum roll please) Happiness! In my humble
opinion, fortune, power, and fame are just subsets of happiness. And through
our life, how we define our own happiness changes and therefore the factors
of happiness also changes -- family, friends, significant others, successes,
acknowledgements, a hot chocolate, a comfy couch, all of the above -- and,
oh yeah, being able to change the world for the better, work in a
non-profit, and own a house.
So now for the twist. Why is Russia, a far richer country than Somalia (2nd
poorest), have a much higher suicide rate (2nd highest)? Don't the Somalians
know any better that they should be more depress because of what they don't
have? Ah, hold on. What exactly does the Somalians have? How about: what
exactly do WE have that we think we don't have enough?! Can you imagine if,
right now, we give a Somalian all the stuff you have? Sit on that for a bit.
So... happiness is actually now if you choose it, and the rest is gravy.
The point is, we've already won the big game but we have to continue to play
it until our last breath. So how about playing a slightly smaller game but
just as scary? For you, you can still choose your game to change the world.
For others, it might be finding their soul mate, or be successful in their
endeavors. Whatever. But when you hit a wall, IT'S JUST A GAME! Remember you
already are happy and just trying to be happy-ier. And there are no rules.
So start again, find another way around the wall. Hell, play another game.
Why? Cause you already won! How do I know? Cause the Somalians told me that
I have more shit than they do therefore I should be happier. The law of
averages says that we're fortunate as hell. Just travel to a third world
country. You'll see.
So now for the game within the game within the big game -- our day to day
trials and tribulations? Let me just put it this way: Ghandi on his way to
speaking to thousands of people find that some jerk has taken his VIP
parking. Does he sweat it or simply find a less convenient parking place
because it's more important just to get inside because the world is waiting
to be change?
So Erika, there's an envelope in your mail saying, "You May Already be a
Winner." What's inside is up to you. But the world is still waiting to be
changed and your game continues... if you still choose to play that game. =)
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