Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Anus Card


This morning I was snuggled comfortably in my bed. Perhaps a little too long.

But I finally woke up and my roommate was gone.

The friggin sink is still stopped up after Citra-Solve drainer solution, baking soda and vinegar and boiling water and Drano gel. They all failed to unclog the damn thing. I've been in this house 3 weeks and it's been stopped up for 2 of them. WTH?

I grumbled on this point, so I moved my attentions to the toilet seat. I prefer mine left down. There is nothing to see there, so why leave it up? Let me have a seat.

Next I thought I might put my bottles of lotions and so forth away. My roomie mentioned that he had emptied one of the bathroom drawers for me so I could put my toiletry stuff there. I thought I might take advantage of that a moment before heading into the bay leaf enshrowded rain forest for my morning shower.

I slid the drawer open. It made that scratchy sound of wood scraping against metal runners not quite connecting.

Instead of an empty drawer I found a postcard and the postcard had a black and white photo of a very caucasian anus. It was fur-lined as well. And captioned.

I was like, "WHAT THE FU__?!?!?!!?"

The card was positioned so that it looked like it was placed there. I'm sure in theory it could have fallen there. I flipped it over to see if there was a "HA HA, GOTCHA!" on it, but it was a postcard dated sometime in 1996. Okay, this is not funny.

I showered. I felt dirty. I felt violated.

And while I showered I was wondering...do I need to move out of this house?

DAMMIT! I just bought the CUTEST shower curtain, though!!!

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