Monday, February 13, 2006

full moon monday

odessa, the neighborhood cat is paying my bed a visit. she's grooming her very long, luxurious hair. she's mewed serveral times and has examined my room. she settled in the corner under the chair before hopping up to my bed to groom.

her coat is a beautiful motley of grey and white. her head is mostly grey with a muzle of white and a shawl of grey lays on her back.

i anticipate the whole fur ball episosde. she is grooming rather long hair with her tongue.

i am thankful this is not my lot in life.

today my head swimming felt less flailing. i set valentine's plans with cynthia visiting from new york, received a message from megan, and finally had enough courage to speak with fumi. fumi has been persistant over the last few days to make sure i was alive. tonight she insisted that i eat, engage in conversation, face my particular demon.

and i resisted, but i relented, too. as she drove closer to my office, i kept talking to her. and i used up my energy behind my current excuses for how i could justify my lack of self-esteem.

they didn't really hold weight and i know she knew this.

capricorns have the benefit of being swimming goats. tough, with horns, and the deftness of fish. so the stubborn persistance paired with the swimming...that helps wear down my saggitarian crazy aiming of arrows in a million different directions.

we're both mythical beasts...and this time, i submitted to the myth that i am a monster.

not true.

cool.

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